"Disagree and Let’s See"
An alternative to "Disagree and Commit"
Hi! I’m Molly. I write about what it actually takes to lead inside growing, changing companies: the frameworks that help, the honest truth about what it feels like, and the messy work of shaping a career that actually fits.
Lessons is where those ideas live — both the writing and the conversations around it. (If you want to learn more about how Lessons and the community work, you can read more here.)
At a recent Glue Club dinner in New York, someone asked me a question I’ve heard many times over the years:
“What do you do when you genuinely disagree with your founder, but you’re supposed to ‘disagree and commit’? Do you really believe in ‘disagree and commit’?”
If you’ve ever been a senior leader inside a startup, you know the feeling. Your CEO makes a decision that you really disagree with, and you argue against it but they still decide to move forward. It’s uncomfortable enough to swallow your disagreement, but the harder part often comes later when you have to turn around and sell that decision to your own team. There’s a particular kind of loneliness in that, especially when your team also disagrees and you’re supposed to be the steady voice convincing them to believe in something you’re not convinced of yourself.
This is where “disagree and commit” starts to feel heavy. And it’s also where I think there’s a gentler, more honest path forward.
A quick refresher on what “disagree and commit” actually means
The phrase goes back decades — it shows up in Intel’s management culture and was also popularized at Amazon — and it basically means that once a decision is made, even if you argued against it, you align fully. You execute as if it were your idea, and you help others get on board.
In theory, it sounds very noble and grown-up. In practice, particularly inside a scaling company, it can feel like emotional contortion. You end up running around trying to manufacture conviction — not just in yourself, but in the people who look to you for clarity. That’s often where the misalignment leaks out. You can force yourself to say the words, but humans are good at sensing when someone is saying something they don’t quite believe.
This is why I’d suggest an alternative that feels more human and still keeps the company moving forward.
“Disagree and let’s see.”
This phrase softens the pressure without slowing the company down. It also acknowledges something that’s deeply true but rarely said out loud: every decision inside a growing company is an experiment.
