Molly's June Tidbits: Optimizing Anthills
We built Glue Club to give startup leaders a space to learn what good looks like and help them skip some of the mistakes others have made. Glue Club membership begins with our New Member program, which includes "Lessons" taught by me and bi-weekly facilitated circles where you problem-solve collaboratively with your peers, finding solutions for challenges that you and your company are facing. If you’re a company builder who wants a community of people to lean on and learn from, come join us!
“I wanted to stay as I was,
still as the world is never still”
- Louise Gluck, The Doorway
This poem is part of the Wild Iris, a book of poetry that will transform you. If you have 2 hours and a beautiful spot, read it cover to cover.
What I’ve Been Thinking About in June
I started a thread this month inside our Glue Club slack about work regrets. As always, the Glue Club crew really showed up with self-awareness, personal reflection, and vulnerability.
It has made me think a bit about regret and some of the things that I wish I could tell myself at the beginning of my career. I’m grateful for all these experiences because they’ve gotten me to where I am, so for me regret is simply defined as “knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t do that again...” I’ve talked to the Glue Club about a bunch of my “regrets”, but one I wanted to share broadly:
Being inside bigger organizations can lead you to “optimize an anthill.”
A couple of months ago I was talking to some folks who have been at Google for a long time. One was extremely frustrated with recent performance feedback and feeling stuck at Level 4 (or whatever). The other’s manager had just left and she was wondering if she should put herself up for the job and compete against her peers for the opportunity since it seemed like an easy moment for advancement even though the job itself wasn’t one she wanted.
Conversations like these remind me a lot of my time at Facebook. When you’re in bigger organizations it’s really easy to get sucked into the dynamics of their processes and systems and lose any sense of perspective — who you are and your self-worth outside of things like leveling matrixes and performance review ratings. It can feel like a video game: you have to figure out the right combination of buttons to win and level up. But there’s not a lot of space to ask “why?” Why does it matter if I’m an L4 vs L5 (other than money)? Do I really want that job? Does this performance feedback actually reflect who I am and what I care about?
Something about being in the vortex of these company dynamics will cause you to put blinders on and play the video game or, as I like to think of it, optimize the anthill. A few of the things I regret in my career are from times when I got sucked into power dynamics and politics. I got caught up trying to conquer the anthill. At the time, it felt like a really important mountain to get to the top of. And then I got to the top and my first thought was “what am I doing here?”
Some battles are worth it inside larger organizations but most of them are honestly just... not.
If you find yourself in one of these situations (or questioning if you’re in one), the most important thing is to find something that can give you perspective. Find an experience that gives you space to remember what you value in life. Find a hobby that reminds you that a lot of this s**t doesn’t matter as much as you think it does. Find a friend or a mentor or a coach to pull your head out of the anthill battle.
Content I Loved This Month
The Women by Kristin Hannah. I think I’m late to the party but this book is phenomenal. It’s historical fiction about female nurses in Vietnam, but it’s really an absolutely beautifully written narrative that makes you FEEL the experience of being a veteran and the cognitive impact that it can have on you when the national story diverges from your personal experience. Highly recommend it. It’s definitely intense but still would make a great beach read.
I’ve really loved all the feedback and thoughts on my Captains post. It’s an ownership model that we developed and rolled out at Lambda School that has really helped me as I’ve lead teams and coached CEOs and Glue People. I’m glad it’s been helpful / resonated with so many of you.
Finally, bear with me but I’ve become entranced in the last year with the wisdom of people who are dying or have almost died. Part of turning 40 and feeling half-way through life (if I’m lucky) has made me think about what I want to feel and say when I get to the end of my life, whenever that is. It’s caused me to read a BUNCH of stuff from people like Bronnie Ware who spent a lot of time with dying people, like Sebastian Junger who almost died and wrote a beautiful essay about it, and like Simon Boas who is losing a fight with cancer and wrote an incredible letter about it.
Takeaways from June Glue Club Events
Life Design Workshop: Maker Mix. The brilliant Ashley Prince Murphy led a bunch of our Glue Club folks in an exercise to think about where they derive value in life and what their ideal “mix” is. When we think about what we want to make in life — impact, creative expression, and/or money — it’s important to remember that not everything has to be made at work.
Storytime with Sorby. I’m so grateful to the amazing Sorby Grant, who recently became CEO of Climb Hire, for sharing her journey and her learnings from becoming a CEO for the first time. There was so much wisdom shared in this session but one of the things I walked away with is: if you’ve never dreamed of a role like CEO, your first reaction is to say “no” or turn it down. I’ve seen this happen to a number of friends — driven by imposter syndrome or exhaustion, their immediate gut reaction to that question was “hell no”. And it takes a great mentor or someone giving you a shove or asking why a bunch of times, for you to stop and consider it. And often, just because your first instinct was “no” doesn’t mean that’s the right instinct. So excited to see what Sorby does as CEO of Climb Hire.
AMA with Molly. One of the questions that has come up a few times in Glue Club in the last couple of weeks (and came up again during the AMA) is: “How do you do a good job as a leader when you have to sell a decision you don’t agree with?” Part of what we’ve talked about is how to get to a place personally where you can disagree and commit. For me, it usually requires asking for space to discuss something until I understand. I may not agree but I need to understand why we’re making the decision and what the path forward is. If I understand it, I can explain it to others. You also don’t always have to sweep the disagreement under the rug. It can be powerful as a leader to acknowledge that it’s a decision that not everyone agreed with, but everyone agreed we should try it. This is not true every time, but sometimes you can use your disagreement or concern as a way to get others onboard with the path forward — “I didn’t agree but we debated it and decided X so we’re moving forward with that and we’ll do another check in when we get to Y milestone.”
People/Companies I Admire Spotlight
It’s rare these days that I find startups that inspire me (Molly = jaded?), but recently, I found two. These are both companies that if they deliver on their promise will have extraordinary impact and matter to the world (in completely different ways). I’ve really enjoyed spending time with both of them.
The first is called Promise and is run by Phaedra Ellis-Lamkins. I am fascinated by businesses that can genuinely make a difference in the lives of people who are historically disadvantaged and consistently undercut. It is rare to find a business that can do this AND still be a great business. Promise is one of them.
The second is called Panthalassa and is run by Garth Sheldon-Coulson. As Garth explained to me, there are only three types of energy that actually have enough potential to replace fossil fuels: solar, nuclear, and wind/waves. Panthalassa is tackling wind/waves in a truly fascinating, extremely long-term way.
We’re enrolling now for the final New Member cohort of Glue Club in 2024. Applications are due by August 16 and the cohort starts on September 9. If you’re a company builder who wants a community of people to lean on and learn from, come join us!
> Does this performance feedback actually reflect who I am and what I care about?
This is so hard for me to navigate, and I need to work on separating feedback on my work from feedback on my self. Thanks for this examination, it’s really helpful.
Your advice about (not) optimising an anthill is so relevant and valuable.
What do you wish you had done differently in the times you were in this situation? Or put differently, what’s the alternative to optimising the anthill? Do you wish you had put blinders on the organisational dynamics and focused on the work you believed was highest impact/most interesting? Would taking the time to reflect have led you to make a bigger change (new role, new company) sooner? I recognise this is unique to every person and situation but interested to hear your reflections on this common “big company” situation.
As always, really appreciate the insights you share!